It’s January. On the earth of baseball NOTHING is going on of consequence within the minors. On a mind-mannered Wednesday afternoon the Portland Pickles, which I guarantee you is an actual group, determined to show over their Twitter account to their mascot — and it didn’t take lengthy earlier than issues went actually, actually, actually unhealthy.
Warning: I’m about to indicate you a photograph of a pickle’s penis. I don’t even know if it is a NSFW warning, as a result of I’ve no approach of understanding what your workplace coverage is because it pertains to mascot genitalia.
The Pickles turned their account over to “Dillon,” who’s their mascot — and actually, a extremely good title for a pickle, however what’s NOT good is seeing his bizarre pickle junk. It didn’t take lengthy earlier than individuals misplaced their marbles at seeing the pickle dick, so the group was pressured to problem a press release.
We’ve got ended our mascot takeover. It’s come to our consideration that this picture might be misinterpreted as a disturbing picture. Dillon wish to go on report and say that he was making an attempt to offer his followers a thumbs up. https://t.co/5VUgkhieq2
— Portland Pickles (@picklesbaseball) January 12, 2022
The unique image tagged Manscaped, the boys’s grooming model, main us to consider this was all a sponsorship gone unsuitable — but it surely’s nonetheless left me with numerous mechanical questions. I’m main this in gently as a result of it’s your probability to bail now and get away from this, as a result of I must put my emotions on the web.
Okay warning over, let’s dive in.
Should you’re pickle and also you present your penis, then what’s a pickle’s penis? I imply, at finest it’s a pickle protuberance, which ought to most likely be evaluated by a pickle medical skilled to make sure this isn’t a cancerous tumor. If we assume that is certainly a pickle penis, what’s the aim of it? Does a pickle urinate brine? I do know that sounds gross, but it surely’s much better than imagining a pickle has kidneys able to producing dilute urea for the elimination of waste.
There’s simply no great way round any of this. You possibly can say we’re in an actual … pickle.